Monday, 1 February 2016

Making it known

I was wondering what I might post about this week and not much came to mind as my mind has been having a lovely holiday these past few days. We have recently had a long weekend and with the blessing of my husband (meaning he was happy to solo parent for three days) I read the entire Hunger Games series.

That's right three books in three days. This again reflects the intensity of my personality, I must finish each book because I must know every detail today! 

So I wondered if there was anything I could take from these books other than I might need to watch a few Bear Grylls and get survival savy as there is no way I would survive and come out with a only few scratches. Much to my surprise I did have a revelation or a light bulb moment.

Sitting and verbally digesting one of my biggest frustrations in the book with my husband bought about this eye opening moment. I had been explaining to hubby how much it annoyed me that Katniss would never acknowledge to Peeta how much she appreciated him, although when she does it's almost to late. I went on about how much I liked the character of Peeta, how all he ever wanted to do was protect, provide and love her and why couldn't she just let him sometimes. Then as I'm getting really into this discussion about fake people I see an interesting look on my husbands face. Could it be that I was raving on about a fake Peeta and how great his character was? That is a little weird if you think about, but I said to my man "Babe you know I'm so blessed because all of those qualities I see in that character are things you are and more." Then the light bulb went! Often I snap at my husband because his nature is to help me, my nature is to be independent and achieve things on my own which is a great quality to have however I suddenly realized that I was a little bit Katniss with my husband! I didn't fully appreciate his willingness to want to help, protect, provide and love me. Could this be why he had a funny expression, was he remembering all the times I snapped at him and told him off for interfering! 

I know my husband knows that I love him, but does he know that I appreciate him but also that although I'm very capable to look after myself just as Katniss was, I actually need him. Which Katniss eventually realized about Peeta. The great thing about my situation is I'm not in a tropical jungle trying to avoid death, I live in a lovely home with an amazing family and I have a great husband that if I was honest with myself I wasn't fully appreciating the true character of him.

So this is what I did, I decided that instead of telling him off in frustration when he was trying to get involved with something I was doing, first I thanked him for wanting to help me but it's OK I've got this and if I can't figure it out can I then ask for help. The first time I did this he had an awkward laugh and this huge smile on his face. After a few more times speaking to him this way and letting him know I appreciate his desire to help I noticed that inside I felt so much calmer, and joyful. I even said to him, talking to you this way makes me feel so much nicer. He said he actually has appreciated me taking the time to explain situations to him, he said it makes him feel valued instead of being cut down and pushed away almost like he was a pain in the but!

I had know idea that the way I had been speaking or reacting to him had made him feel negatively about himself and our relationship but I am thankful that taking the time to see a lesson from the Hunger Games has helped me to make it known to him how much I appreciate him not just love him.
At the end of the day we all want to know that we are valued, appreciated, loved and respected and it's so easy to get self focused we forget to make it known to others their importance. We just need to slow down a minute, remember what's important about life and let those who need to know, that they are valued and appreciated. 

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